As mentioned before in this blog, I spent a few years (almost 10) working on a novel that I plan to publish in the near future. But before I came to the conclusion that putting the novel out there myself was the right thing to do, I spent a good year pitching it via the very traditional agent-publishing model.

For anyone not familiar, if you’re an unknown, first-time writer, the initial step to traditional publication is finding a literary agent. You spend time researching the types of agents who represent works like yours, then develop a pitch – a one page letter, generally – in which you do your very best to convince the agent to look at a sample of your novel – usually the first 50 pages or first three chapters. Based on that, they’ll either send you a nice “thanks, but no thanks” rejection letter, or they’ll ask to see your sample and – if they actually like it or think it’s something they could potentially represent – they’ll ask you to send your novel in its entirety to make their decision.

It’s a lengthy, tedious process that many authors spend years working through before getting a bite.

During the year I was pitching the novel, I was always quite successful at stage one. After all, I’d spent my career as a public relations professional where the pitch is everything, so generally, having done my research to identify the agents most likely to represent a novel like mine, I could craft a good pitch that was well-received. Out of approximately 100 pitches, I had a 30% positive response rate which was pretty decent. From there, about 10% asked to read the full manuscript but ultimately, the end result was always rejection.

In talking with other author friends, instructors from the UCLA Writer’s Program, and fellow would-be writers, this was an expected and positive outcome and the idea was to keep refining the novel based on some of the comments received (which, admittedly, were few and far between as many rejection letters just contained a “no thanks” or “not for me”). The next step should have been to adopt the number one quality authors (at least pre-self-publishing) need: persistence.

I enrolled in another class at the Writer’s Program – this one led by a former agent. The class was designed for those who had completed novels but hadn’t published yet. While I enjoyed the class, somewhere along the way, I lost my desire to keep editing and rewriting my novel. Once the class wrapped, I put the novel aside. And I hadn’t really picked it up again until recently.

In the past few months, when I realized the truth of my situation – that I wanted to keep writing but didn’t want to pursue the career of writing, nor try to secure an agent on the path to traditional publication – I’ve revisited some of the rejection letters from those who read the full novel. Perhaps they should have disheartened me now as I know they did in the moments when I received them, but somehow, they’ve given me the extra spark I’ve needed to return to writing and consider putting my novel out into the world.

Here’s a selection of some comments I received:

“I love the concept. I just didn’t fall in love with the protagonist the way I needed to.”

“I love the idea – it’s unique and timely. Ultimately, I think the stakes needed to be raised. There wasn’t enough ‘murder and mayhem’ for me.”

“You have something here but it still needs some work. It would make a great movie. If you decide to revise it, I’m willing to take another look.”

I also went back and reviewed comments from my favorite writing instructor – a successful author himself – after I’d completed and sent the novel to him. His comments made me smile and emboldened me to get my novel out of the drawer: 

The book reads well, is interesting, sad, funny, and at this point whatever changes need to be made – and I don’t think many do – will probably come down to having an agent make them…it’s good, Lori. I think you have tapped into an interesting vein here that is ripe – it has cinematic quality and literary quality, both of which are going to be appealing to people. Of course, I realize this is only my opinion, but of the students, I have sent to my agent – which would be one – she has taken all of them.

As a footnote, he did pass me on to his agent, but unfortunately, I ruined his perfect student record. She had two reasons for rejecting my novel at that time: 1) I needed to publish more short stories first to establish my name and credibility, and 2) According to her, the “Desperate Housewives” moment – a popular TV show that my novel resembled in theme and content – had passed.

I came close but ultimately, didn’t find an agent to take on my novel and quite honestly, I probably threw in the towel much too early. But now, I’m revisiting the pages and making some edits, determined that it will see the light of day via the less traditional publication route. It will live outside of my drawer (metaphorically) and if anyone else reads it, I’ll be pleased, but even if no one does, I’ll feel a sense of closure on this decades-long pursuit. 

I’m actually thankful for the chance to revisit those rejection letters.